Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
