Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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