i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
