after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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