She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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