so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
