I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
