He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
