btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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