...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just took my morning after pill in the library
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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