So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
