you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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