pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
