how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I still have a little drunk in my system
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize