For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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