I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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