I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
