He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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