he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
