I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
