ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
