i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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