did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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