and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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