weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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