are you still at the devil's house?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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