It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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