if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Randomize