I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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