Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
