She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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