god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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