he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
