i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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