so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
