it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
