Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
