your thong is hanging out like whoa
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
