dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
