omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
