your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
