I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
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