my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My breasts were aching with rage.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
