Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
