i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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