Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
