you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
