I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
