How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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