perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
