What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize