Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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