I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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