i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Ladies don't puke and tell
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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