haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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