someone owes me an orgasm
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
